KFC Just Released a Romance Novella Starring Colonel Sanders

Mother’s Day

• KFC, no stranger to romance, has just released its first romance novel, Tender Wings of Desire, starring Colonel Sanders just in time for Mother’s Day. According to Time, “the romance novel is part of a promotion for the $20 Fill Up special.” The 96-page novella is available for free download from Amazon.com. The book has received mixed reviews. “Reading this novella is akin to eating a bucket of the Colonel's chicken — the sensation is overwhelming, and yet you still want more. I eagerly await the sequel novella, 50 Shades of Gravy,” says one Amazon reviewer. Another laments, “Was expecting tender breasts and juicy thighs. Perhaps a bit of finger licking goodness. Instead got a tough, dry read lacking spice.”
• Ann Maloney has a list of freebies on Mother’s Day. Take it with a grain of salt though: The list includes winners like Lula’s all-you-can-drink vodka bar as well as total duds like Hooter’s free meal for Mom (under $10.99). [NOLA.COM]

The Eating Habits of Top Athletes

• Tyler Shelvin, the “LSU Tigers’ decorated 2017 recruit who’s expected to enroll with other signees in June”, just lost about 60 pounds by eating his gumbo without rice. Tyler deserves so much love for eating enough gumbo that simply omitting the rice could help him shed 60 pounds. [ADVOCATE]
• No Blue Apron for Charles Barkley. The Houston Chronicle reports that the basketball legend can’t cook and loves Popeyes. The story is that he’d hand his former roomie, Washington Wizards Scott Brooks, a hundred dollars to go to Popeyes and “grab a bunch of legs and wings, Cajun rice, red beans and rice. Just get a lot of it...” [Houston Chronicle]

Horrible, Belligerent Drunks

• Dave Cohen reports that a man was shot in the back early this morning at Checkpoint Charlie’s, the music venue and bar in the Marigny. [WWL.COM]
• A man allegedly punched and stabbed a security guard outside the Shamrock bar on S. Carrollton on Cinco de Mayo. According to a report, the man had been asked to leave. The NOPD is asking for help finding the suspect. [NOLA.COM]

Speaking of Violence

• Tales of the Cocktail announced a partnership with Green Dot, a violence-prevention organization, to develop a sexual assault prevention training seminar for members of the bar industry. TOTC will be holding a “bystander workshop” during Tales of the Cocktail on Tuesday, July 18 from 10:30 am to 1 pm. Way to go, Tales.