Tales of the Cocktail starts tomorrow, and if you're here for the event, welcome to New Orleans. If you're wondering how to even go about handling the insane week of seminars, dinners, parties, and drunkypantsedness, no need to worry. While Eater NOLA has already posted a thorough preview of this year's event, there are still so many questions to ponder, like: Where should I eat? Where should I drink? How do I keep from going to the emergency room to get my stomach pumped?
Since there are so many flippin' guides to Tales floating around on the internet this week, here now, we present you with Eater's Guide to Tales of the Cocktail Guides to help you relax into the next five days of crazy booze festin'.
There's an app to help you: Keep your Tales schedule straight or figure out who you're next to on the Monteleone's crowded elevator with the TOTC app for i-phone and android. The Mutineer also has a handy preview of how it works.
Even if you can't attend: The Times-Pic is webcasting several seminars from the event, as well as the Spirited Awards.
If you need a drinking soundtrack: Last night, the Times-Pic got loaded... and decided to share some drinking songs for Tales mania.
Advice for surviving Tales: The Nashville Scene suggests that you don't stay in the French Quarter, spit don't swallow in the tasting rooms, and hydrate. Todd A. Price also offers some words of wisdom on surviving.
More survival advice (you'll need it): Young jedi, listen you must. Serious Eats urges Tales attendees to pace themselves and draw up a battle plan.
The best bets for the nerdiest of booze nerds: The Gambit takes a look at the more educational aspect of the event, including seminars about distillation, vermouth, and tequila.
What's new this year: The Advocate takes a look at the evolution of Tales, now in its eleventh year.
A worthy podcast for the too-hungover-to-read: The Cocktail Enthusiast now has a podcast, and they'll be covering all things Tales and cocktail industry (including Dennis Rodman's new vodka, eek). All you have to do is listen, no brain cells required really.
More listener-friendly info: WNO 89.9 interviews Tales founder Ann Tuennerman and the King of Cocktails, Dale Degroff.
How to drink like a New Orleans' bartender: Serious Eats asked local bartenders to name their favorite drinking spots, which include lots of places within walking distance from the Monteleon including the Boondock Saint, The Erin Rose, Sylvain, and The French 75.
Food and drink recommendations from locals: Imbibe also has a round-up of NOLA's cocktail industry insider's favorite haunts for food and drink, including the Big Fisherman, Morning Call, and a stroll down Frenchmen.
Two exciting openings to check out in the Quarter: The Gambit reports that both Dis Taco from the Killer Po' Boys duo, and Cane & Table from Cure Co. will be opening on Decatur this week, within walking distance of the Hotel Monteleone.
And a massive pig roast: San Francisco's Bon Vivants host a pig roast benefit for charity on Sunday, July 22. The do gooders will also volunteer with Kipp schools while in town, reports Yahoo! Travel.
Also, how to make a Rickey: Tim McNally takes a look at this 2013 event's signature cocktail, The Rickey, including a recipe on how to make one.
· All Tales of the Cocktail Coverage [-ENOLA-]