This week, Tom Fitzmorris awards FOUR WHOLE STARS to Restaurant R'evolution, but he warns "I'm still not sure what to make of it." Eater is still not sure what to make of Fitzmorris' scathing four star review (with +2 hipness points) especially when the "Why It's Good" argument amounts to "the menu tries to be all things to all people." Noting the lengthy "encyclopedic" options, T-Fitz says:
It also has representatives of all the current trends: charcuterie, barbecue, pork belly, random Asian flavors, small plates, foie gras, locally farmed vegetables, plus lots of crabmeat, cheese and bacon.
The only thing missing is a horse meat slider. Between the "$200 Caviar Staircase" and the "lofty" bill, this four star review is a real stumper considering Fitzmorris' nonstop crankenspasms. So here now, Eater presents the top ten scathing lines from T-Fitz' Restaurant R'evolution lambasting.
1.) "I suspect this restaurant will require many more months of evolution before it figures out what it is."
2.) "It's the most hyped New Orleans restaurant since the opening of Emeril's."
3.) "Those of us who were subjected to the months of press releases and rumors... were less than blown away by the reality."
4.) "Even the servers seem a little puzzled."
5.) "It would facilitate enjoyment to look over the way-too-long menu before you go."
6.) "R'evolution is weak in the finfish department, with few acceptable choices and tilapia."
7.) "The kitchen, for all its cooks, is surprisingly inflexible."
8.) "And with all these dry-aged steaks, where's the sirloin strip?"
9.) "Some fellow diners found the aging beef and sausages hanging in that dining room off-putting."
10.) "I was refused Béarnaise sauce, something any restaurant of even much lower caliber should whip out without a second thought."