Straight Up and Dropped: C-Tate's Cocktail Abominations

From the man who brought New Orleans Dix Stix and male burlesque dancers (NOT male strippers), comes the worst-named cocktails Bourbon Street has seen in a while, and the most sexy sumptuous flavored vodkas and juicy juice ya ass can handle. While Saints and Sinners' drink menu starts off strong with a decent sounding Sazerac and Maker's Manhattan, it quickly deteriorates into the following ten, utterly epic, cocktail abominations.

1. Silk Panties: Vodka, peach Liqueur, and cranberry juice don't make this cocktail truly gnar, but the fact that it's served "straight up and dropped" does. Cure Co.'s Nick Detrich asked if there is an edible panty garnish. There is not. Yet.

2. Storyville Blues: Name seems okay enough, right? Enter blueberry vodka and it's special friend Blue Curacao.

3. Sin Dancer: The name sounds like a Lifetime movie, the ingredients sound like a margarita.

4. Dirty River: Includes tequila, vodka, rum, melon liqueur, raspberry Liqueur, sour, and Sprite. C-Tate's disclaimer ? It will make you think you're strong enough to swim across (not recommended). The drink or the swimming?

5. Velvet Hammer: Vanilla vodka and creme de Cacao and heavy cream? So it's a White Russian renamed for a sexy sumptuous tool? Sweet.

6. French 76: Why... just... why?

7. Rada-Tat-Tat: Cuz C-Tates never hesitate to put a fool on his back? It's a gin (and juice) based drink.

8. Burlesque Stress: Vodka AND coconut rum? Yes, for when male strippers are hired to do burlesque.

9. Sex On The Balcony: Why must you encourage them so, C-Tates?

10. Cream Soda: Featuring Whipped Cream Vodka and Cotton Candy Vodka. Menu says, it's "not your grandparents' ice cream soda." You right, C-Tates, this ain't no Dewer's neat.

· Cocktail Week 2012 [-ENOLA-]
· All Tatum-Mania [-ENOLA-]